Reading Reflection and Reaction 10

Pink: Empathy
"Empathy is the ability to imagine yourself in someone else's position and to intuit what that person is feeling.  It is the ability to stand in others' shoes, to see with their eyes, and to feel with their hearts.  It is something we do pretty much spontaneously, an act of instinct rather than the product of deliberation.  but Empathy isn't sympathy--that is, feeling bad for someone else.  It is feeling with someone else, sensing what it would be like to be that person.  Empathy is a stunning act of imaginative derring-do, the ultimate virtual reality--climbing into another's mind to experience the world from that person's perspective (159)."  As teachers, as women and men, and as human beings, we are empathetic beings on almost a daily basis (at least I am).  We have the capacity and the imagination to, as Pink says, feel with someone.  Friday's class on Empathy was incredibly powerful.  In light of my previous post on Meaning, I will break my mold a little bit and share with you an experience that was incredibly difficult for me during my first year of teaching, where I experienced more empathy than I ever have.  This past spring, I injured my back and shoulder and had to undergo a rigorous bout of physical therapy and muscle relaxers, which meant that I had several doctor's appointments.  In March, I had scheduled an appointment at Columbia Orthopedic Group and I took the entire day off work even though I likely could have used just half a day (I'm sure those of you who teach can understand the need for a day off once in a while).  I now wish I had taken the half of a day.  I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting for my physician to come in when I received a text from my mentor teacher, asking if I had a certain student.  When I saw the name I immediately got worried that she would ask me about a student when I was not at work, so I told her where I was and asked what had happened.  To make an incredibly long story short, one of my students passed away this spring, and not by freak accident or health conditions or any of the things that make death seem easy.  My student had died on his on terms and by his own doing, and I found out by text in a doctor's office on a day when I wasn't with my kids.  I have never felt so much guilt.

The tragic loss of a student is something that I hope none of you ever have to feel.  The amount of empathy that happens is almost unbearable.  I was feeling with my students, with my faculty, with the parents, and with myself.  I still feel guilty for not being at school on the day that all of my students found out, but I recognize that I can not dwell on the past.  It took a lot of time and patience to help my students heal, but each day was a journey on the empathetic path for all of us, and we all understood that.  During our class on Friday, I held the memories and thoughts of my student with me as we were all empathizing together.  It was an incredibly powerful moment and I am glad to have shared it with all of you.